So, I've been swarmed by millions of teeny weeny black ants.  They're all over my kitchen and my bathrooms.  They're crawling up the walls of my shower.  They've even crept across my laptop WHILE I WAS USING IT.  So I did what any normal, repulsed person would do--I called an exterminator.

( Total Lunacy behind the cut. Seriously. It's humiliating! )